Personal reflection by Jon Rasmussen, following a Dialogue session on Peace, and Compassionate listening
Views expressed are purely those of his own, based on his reflection. He do not express views for or by other individuals or groups.
At the bottom of this Blog, you will find a link to a Audio version.
Once again I sit here and look out my window, reflecting on that last session, where we, touched base with the term Peace. It was Sunday the 20th. being the day before The International Day of Peace.
I recall how me asking the questions “What does Peace mean to you?” “and how can we use Compassionate listening to build Peace between people?” created complete silence in the call, followed by (thank god) a lively Dialogue.
For what is Peace?
Is Peace only reserved to talks of war and conflict? Or the absence of that? Absolutely not.
As The quote by Dalai Lama points out Peace starts from within, and I am a firm believer that it is so.
If we don't find our inner Peace, how should we be able to bring Peace to others?
Dialogue and Compassionate Listening is in fact not only a tool to bring two or more parties together, learning about each other.
I would say that the first place to practice it, is within our self.
I hear from may people during this Covid-19 crisis that they have trouble finding rest, and peace of mind.
The tension that builds up inside, due to all the outer uncertainties, put stress on not only one self, but also on those around you. You begin to notice how conflicts arise faster than usual, and even the smallest of things can push you of balance.
This is actually not so different than a full scale conflict between two countries.
So what can we actually do? First we need to change our mindset.
We need to focus our thoughts.
I personally use meditation, to bring a sufficient amount of peace around me.
That way I can:
First stop my mind from spiraling of.
Secondly listen to myself compassionately.
It's vital that I first listen to understand why I am reacting.
Then I enter an inner Dialogue – because it's important to accept what had happened, and to forgive what it brought you of instability. I also need to forgive myself for how I acted inappropriately, or unreasonably.
This could be a here and now, experience I meditated on – but it could also be something from the past, that you never found Peace with.
Old traumas can be much more visible during this pandemic. Non of us are unaffected, and not having our daily routines to keep our minds busy, these old triggers pop up again.
Just like they also do in certain conflict areas – the trauma is never really forgotten, only put on hold.
Where are you going with this Jon?
I wanted to address the need to always first seek to use Compassionate Listening and Inner Dialogue to find that Peace with yourself.
It will make you aware of who you are. You will know exactly what your core values are.
This provides you with a stable foundation – a grounding.
This Peace of mind will help you in any encounter with other people. They can say and do, but you knowing that their frustrations is feelings of their own, helps you to listen with compassion, and approach them with Dialogue rather with a counter attack.
By having inner Peace, you can walk off from any situation – maybe you learned something new, I am quite sure you did, both about yourself and the other. But it will never feel like people used you, or stepped all over you. WHY?
Because you knew inside where your boundaries wore, and that the words of the other was merely words.
Words that you through Dialogue could learn came from a certain place also.
As in the previous Podcast, finding Peace within helps us let go of all the self-limiting thoughts – those that would otherwise with certainty have been the root of many conflicts between you and others – but also with yourself.
So for any kind of peace in the outside world to happen, it has to start from within.
Peace is not something you can force upon anyone. It has to come as acts of or will to have peace, and that can only happen if I myself and the other has come to a level of peace to the mind, that this is what we need.
If it isn’t a genuine wish from within, it will merely be a ceasefire, and not Peace.
Being aware, and bringing compassion to yourself, forgiving you and the other, for having expressed their feelings, because they were human, makes us see the other, and come to understand their actions, much better.
By using Dialogue, and compassionate listening to understand why certain things happened, you show
Compassion towards your own self and,
You show Compassion towards the other, showing you actually care enough to hold their space.
You might even learn from the other, to see the world in a more positive way – maybe you both do?
By awareness you are able to let go of many of those negative thoughts that blur the view ahead.
Accept things as they are, without judgment.
Bring freedom and better connection to yourself and to the other as well.
Keywords:
Acceptance
Compassion
Forgiveness
Kindness
Understanding
That is where collaboration begins – ultimately bringing us peace
